im on a roll!!!!!!!! seriously ive written more this week then i have..... in a long time. i missed writing. i like being able to get my thoughts out instead of having them bounce around in my head and drive me crazy. its also nice to be able to get out thigns that make me really really happy. like today. i got to spend a couple of hours with the one person ive wanted to be around and just hang with for a long time. it was awesome. i was really really really really nervous before (almost to the point of making myself so sick i almost called to cancel) but it turned out to be a lot of fun. i love how even when you think things will never get better, God always has a plan. this situation was funny. he and i usually only "talk" when something bad has happened. this time it was the opposite. we actually got a long great this weekend. we talked and were normal. imagine my suprise when he txted me asking if i wanted to hang. course i said yes. and im glad i did. we had a good time. got to talk and just be ourselves. it was good!!! yay Jesus, this is exactly what i needed. now we just have to see whats going to happen from now on...

on another note.... i love my friends. i love that they honestly love me and care about me. i hate that sometimes i get so full of it that i forget that, but the reminder is always a good thing. i think i had the best of friends during highschool... yet the best years in middle school. its weird. the friends i made during freshman-senior year are the friends people dream of: honest, trustworthy, kind, funny, caring, loving, special, and actually are good friends to me. i love it. it might not always be perfect or as fun as middle school... but im so happy with everyone. so to all you guys who have been here... thanks so mucho mucho!!!!