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Monday, December 10, 2007

Maybe i don't completely stink..

at writing stuff. I asked 2 of my friends what they thought of this and now i want to see if you guys will post any opinions. I want feedback so if you love me say something!!!!


please come down
act like you really love me
im wearing the most beautiful gown
please come down i wore it just for you

tell me how beautiful i look
that you never want to let me go
tell me that you will stop
i don't want to be another Jane Doe

i don't want another bruise
i don't want another lie
i know that i will surely lose
if i try to put up a fight

every promise is broken
all trust is destroyed
every time i look you in the eye
i brace myself for another lie

...another bruise
...another broken promise
finally its time for you to choose
be careful for you may lose

7 comments:

After His Heart said...

oh oh oh! this is the one i really liked!

Marissa said...

yep it is thats why i put it up

After His Heart said...

yay! i'm happy i really like it! :D

Marissa said...

thanks i do too

aurora said...

hey missa, this is pretty good!!

Anonymous said...

you rhyme very well. I don't typically make poems (or songs) that rhyme.

Marissa said...

thanks according to carly that was my best one.. but im glad that other people like it too