time to face the facts

ive lied. ive cheated. ive gossiped. ive stolen. ive easedropped. ive lusted. ive worried. ive regretted. ive lost faith. ive hated. ive murdered. ive disobeyed. ive envied.

i put on a mask, because im scared that they won't like me for who i am. im scared they will judge me because im not as funny, as pretty, as nice, or as cool as other people. ive put myself at a distance from them. ive shunned them because i don't want them to know how i really feel. ive lied to them because if they knew the truth, they would hate me. i hate that i don't trust them. i hate that when they ask me whats wrong, i automatically say "im fine." deep down, im the farthest thing from fine. i hate telling them whats wrong because im afraid they won't even care. i hate not making an effort because im scared that they won't do anything in return. i hate that they don't do anything in return anyways. i want to be able to be open, honest, alive, and real with them because i love them and because they are worth it. i want to open myself up, even though i will be disappointed and hurt.

im tired of hiding. im tired of not taking risks. im tired of being afraid. im tired of worrying.

i want people to know who i really am, then judge me instead of judging me for the masks i use.

i want to be able to make a difference


i love music. i love singing, i love my bass, and i love just being able to lose myself in the notes, the rhythm, and the passion.

i love people. i love hanging out with people, playing video games, laughing, snowboarding, dancing, and stuff teens do.

i love the homeless. i want to do so much, and i have to get past the fact that just because im young doesn't mean i can't do anything. i can volunteer. i can do what i can now until the point comes to do what my heart desires.

this has been what i like to call, either a venting session, or my time to be honest with myself and with anyone who happens to read this. adios world