Home..

When i left my first church, i was kinda sad but excited to start over somewheres else. Now thats ive been at this church for over a year, my feelings for it are not what i expected. I had been at my old church since i was born, my parents there before too. I made all my best friends there, had my first crushes there, and almost had my frist bf there. Had bad experiences happen there too but i loved being there. It was like home. i could spend hours on the campus even without someone i knew being with me. So when i left i was a sad. but i thought that my new church would be pretty cool and i would love it as much or more. At first it was like that. Yet now that ive been there, its different. the only services that i actually enjoy going to are the main and when i do go i like being by myself. Its not like i don't have friends its just that i don't feel welcome really. Normally im pretty outgoing. Its just with the group of people that i know from church i don't like being myself. I don't usually like putting myself in a position where i know im going to get hurt and i almost always get hurt when im myself. So it was really nice to go abck to my old church last night. I was nervous before because i hadn't been there in a year but i was also excited to see all the people who pretty much made me who i am today (other than God). So i got there around 6 cause i was meeting my friend there to hang out. well he was going to be late so i just went to the middle school building to see if i could find anyone i knew. It was awesome i got to see my favorite youth leader and pretty much the most amazing pastor ever!! Hes 6'5', 23 and acts like a 15 year old. i love it. so i talked with them for a bit then went to put my stuff down in the highschool building. After that i went and walked around in the bookstore/coffee shop. Then my friend showed up and we just hung out the rest of the night. it was really funny cause while hanging with him, i got to see some of my friends that i hadn't seen or talked to in a while. so we would walk up and id say hi and they would be like "OH MY GOSH!" and give me a hug. haha it was nice to feel loved. I missed those guys. So service was interesting.. like it wasn't great and it was horrible. but other than that the night was amazing. i kinda wish i had never left but i wouldn't have met some really cool people if i hadn't. so there is my deep post for like the year.