the great i am

sometimes i wonder why. why am i this way? why do i talk like that? why do i feel like this? why am i never good enough? why? i went from being the happeist person in middle school to an emotional teenager in highschool. i hate looking back to freshman year and on and seeing that the only times i was actually truly happy were when i was with him, and when i surrounded myself with a group of people who i thought were my best friends. he made me hapier than anyone. i trusted him so completely that i actually took the time to tell him about my day, about the stupid things i saw and did, what i wanted out of life, and how i felt. that has been the only time in my life i ever was that honest with someone. i didn't care if he thought i was crazy, cause i knew that even if he did, he would still be there. i don't have that anymore. i have gone through friends like people go through shoes. they last for a while but you can't have them forever. i want someone who i can trust, be honest with, be myself with, screw up with, and know that they still give a crap about me. i took a risk last year with some people. wasn't at the same level but i tried. and i got burned. i know people make mistakes but when they go from trusting you and being close with you to mocking you, making fun of you, and ignoring you, what am i supposed to do then?



trust Him. He may have taken away everything that made me complete, but He did it for me because He knew i deserved better. He knew i deserved better than having someone lie to me, take advantage of me, use me, refuse me, reject me, and humiliate me. sometimes His plans are better than my plans. when things get tough, even unbearable, i have to remember that. one day im going to get away from all this and just be able to sit in His arms. im not going to worry about boys, friends, family, school, work, or life. im going to be able to close my eyes and sing. im going to be able to curl up in His lap whenever i want without worrying about Him not having the time, or being preoccupied. He is going to be my only priority, and in turn, i am going to be His



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My God,

So desperately I watch them calling for You.

To bring down your hands.

To make this all okay.

To make us whole again.

Us whole again.

And now,

So desperately I have been calling for You.

To bring down your hands.

To make this all okay.

To bring me home.

And He said.

I will carry you home again,home tonight.

I will carry you to let you fly,to let you fly.

And now,

So desperately I have been waiting for You.

To bring down your hands.

To make this all okay.

To make me whole again.

I know that this is the way.

I know this is the way you planned for it.

I will carry you home again,home tonight.

I will carry you to let you fly,to let you fly.

I will carry you home again,home tonight.

I will carry you to let you fly,to let you fly